Hello!

From my understanding, someone close to you is showing symptoms of psychological distress after moving. You have written that this person talks about suicide and situation is not getting better. You have written that you have been trying to talk to this person and now you do not feel safe in their presence.

First of all, I would like to express my support to you. It is quite difficult situation to be in and could be physically and emotionally draining. From what I have gathered, you have been trying to help them to no avail. Unfortunately, sometimes our resources to help those who are close to us is quite limited, and it is clear that in this situation you have done what you could. Please remember that you are not responsible for their choices. The only thing that you realistically can do is to offer your help and support (which you have already done), but if they decline to accept it, responsibility of their actions lies solely on them.

You have written that you are not sure why they want to do it. Sometimes understanding the reason could give you a clue to how to help them. It is likely that them talking about committing suicide is a reaction to something they are experiencing or feeling. If you think you could safely talk to them about it (maybe in public place or through call or text), it could be beneficial to ask plainly about why they started to feel this way. Do not be afraid that talking about suicide could trigger them to commit it, it is a false assumption. There is studies that scientifically proved that talking about suicide do not worsen the situation.

From what I have gathered, you are both have moved to another country. It could be very hard to adjust to a completely new culture. It is known that such a big life change could put a strain on one’s mental health, even if they were healthy and stable before. Some studies show that it could take from 6 to 24 months to adapt mentally to a new culture, sometimes even longer. It is possible that this person is suffering from cultural shock and/or loneliness. In that case it could be beneficial to them to stay in close contact with their family and friends, maybe reach out to other people in immigrant community.

If it is possible to talk to them about meeting with psychiatrist, it could be crucial step for them to start getting better. Getting in contact with therapist is also an option. Nowadays there is platforms that offer online professional help in multiple different languages. However, if this person refuses, once again please remember that it is not your responsibility.

In some cases, moving to a different place could trigger a serious mental breakdown, which could very scary to experience in a completely unfamiliar environment. In case this person informs you that they intend or actively trying to commit suicide, you should call emergency number (112 in Russian Federation and Europe, 911 in North and South America, - please check the number for your specific location) and give the dispatcher their name and location and tell what is going on. You could also inform this person that they could call the emergency line anytime and ask for help.

In your letter you convey that you are concerned for your well-being. Please remember that firstly you have to take care of your own safety and mental health. If you feel that that person is a threat to you in any kind, please think of steps how to ensure your safety. Perhaps you could limit your contact to them to meeting them only in public places or talk to them only through calls or texts. You could also go low or no-contact if you feel you are not comfortable with the relationship you have right now. Your own safety and well-being should stay a priority to you.

Best regards, counselor of the helpline